First off, I love getting emails from people telling me that they read my blog and it helped to answer questions or helped them to know what it is like for someone, but a male especially. I remeber back when I was seeking band info, I found a guy who started posting a blog of his gastric bypass experience, but his pictures were always in his underpants, I will spare all of us that one.

I remeber sitting back thinking what is life going to be like after the band. So I read new groups and stuff, and most of them are not talking progress they are more support groups, which is cool, but darn it show me progess and a daily dose of what is it like… Thus my blog began.

Anyway, So, I recieved and interesting email the other day asking about the skin. The guy who was asking me had emailed before asking some questions and this question was a good one. His question was, so what about the skin? That was a very interesting question, one that I had been thinking of but had not really thought much about it.

Turn back now if you don’t want to hear about my scars and skin movements.

The reason I was thinking about the skin, is because of where the scars from the surgery were versus where they are now. The scars we 2 under my left breast one above and to the left of my belly button and one up and to the right of my belly button. It is amazing how much movement there has been in my skin. The scars under my breast have moved almost a full inch or 2 to the right of my body, but the port incision(upper left of the belly button) has moved just a half inch or so. Since they were inline with each other I would have expected similar movement. The scar to my right side of the body has moved the most. It has almost relocated 3 inches to the right side of my body. When I was in for the fill last week I mentioned that to Dr. Simpson, that it was funny to see these scars move around. He made a joking comment that I though was inline with this blog entry, that wait until I am near goal they will be on my knees. I know that he did not mean it this way but as I just reflected what he said for this blog, I am thinking, I don’t see any real sagging. That is the question, after this journey is all done will i need to have plastic surgery to repair the skin folds, from what I can tell there will obviously be lose skin, but not enough to need to go to that next extreme.  

So I had my 3rd fill last Thursday. I only needed just a small fill because the band still pretty much worked. It was amazing to see the progress on the doctor’s computer and to be at 267lbs upon weigh in. My starting BMI was 44.1, my current BMI is 37.2 now, that is pretty cool to see that go down. They are having a xmas party on Dec 1. I might go just to check it out.

Dr. Simpson asked me if I want a fill so I say yes, just a small fill. I was wavering when I went in because I was able to over eat and was getting hungry after just a couple hourss, but I was still losing weight and the band did work. So when that happens I need an adjustment, that and the fact that I will be gone for my sabbatical in late Dec, I just decided to take care of it. This was the fastest fill I have ever had. He found the port immediately. The doc looks at my chart and says I am very happy with your progress, he hesitated for a second and says, “I mean, you’re doing awsome!”. If you ever look for a doctor for this surgery, try to find one like Dr. Simpson that uses emotion words, it just makes you feel good.

For the first time this band is tight. Not too tight where I cannot eat my 4 oz of food or drink or have heartburn or anything like that, but tight to the point of if food gets stuck a couple sips of water will not be washing it down. Last night was the first time that this band has rejected my bad decision to eat late and over eat. I just wanted to snack so I did start. Then ate a chicken nugget too quickly, it got stuck, I tried to wash it down, forget it. Like they said, the nice thing about being a gastric patient is when you regurgitate it is not much. I have known all along that I have been probably over eating slightly, like with in a few oz, but until this fill I did not truely understand how this band is supposed to work. This is learning to eat with the band 101 class.

I am excited to see now how much weight will start to be lost since I am truely doing the band now. Part of my emotional eating mind is saying to me go back and have the doc undo it. My mind keeps telling me “that won’t be nearly enough food, we need more.”

I am happy to say that I am not allowing my emotional mind to control this fill decision. I can take my 4 oz of food and can drink. Guess that means it is right, right? The nice thing is that after last night of “I fought the band and the band won” negotiations, I am pretty sure I do not want to do that one again, so I will begin respecting the no drinks with the meal, not trying to eat more than my 4oz and letting this tool serve its complete purpose.

This picture was taken just before my surgery.

 Well it has been officially 6 months now, to the date, and here I am at 269 lbs.

I love the lap-band. It is not the magic pill and still takes some discipline to not over do it and not put myself at risk for having the band slip but so far so good. I only on occasions now get food stuck and things are going well. My knees are in great condition, the pains of having that extra 60-62 lbs on my back every day are gone. To reflect what that was like I went to the grocery store to get dog food. I got the largest of the bags, which weighs 44lbs, I threw it over my shoulder and then I grabbed a bag of cat food that was 18lbs. As I started walking to the registers it dawned on me, that was 62lbs that I am carrying. That is what it was like to live with that weight every day, every hour, every minute. People ask if I have more energy, I want to say strap on a 5th grader for 2 days and live your life as normal. Then come back and ask me again. Of course I have more energy and I feel better. I have shed a lot of weight, I love playing softball now because I run faster and am healthier, I enjoy hiking. and just not sitting home veging infront of the TV all the time any more. I hope that I can continue on the average of 10 lbs per month, if so then I will be at goal by the 1 year anniversary. That would be sweet to have dumped 120 lbs in 12 months. I am sure it is a pipe dream, but who cares, 60 lbs is awsome and it is still coming off. I have my next fill next week. I wanted to get it done before Turkey day and Christmas.

It has been almost 5 months and to date I am around 50lbs lost thanks to the lap-band. This is the best thing I have ever done for my health. I started playing softball again a couple weeks ago. It was so awsome to see that I run much faster than I once did and the pain is gone. Before I would hit a grounder and it was all she wrote. I would always be thrown out at first. The first week I hit a ground ball and I tied the trow. My biggest issue was always the next day. Before the surgery I would have been crippled for the next couple days. The last two weeks I was sore from muscle fatigue. That is a great feeling to not have the joint pains! I love my band.

Had my second fill a couple weeks ago. It was a funny day. the surgeon sticks me and after a little effort gets into the port. He starts injecting the saline he stops for a second and says, “WOW, you needed a fill.” He keeps going and says to me, “I am amazed you have lost any weight. It just shows me you are doing what we asked you to.” The band was so loose that the band was not really doing much. That felt good.

The band is doing it’s job now. If I eat too big of a bite or too much food it will get stuck in the band. Man does that feeling suck. I usually start hiccuping or panincing. The only option at that point is to drink or puke. Not a big fan of the latter so I drink. I know that what is happening is exactly what causes the band to slip. The food scale is becoming my best friend. I am so concerned with having my band slip that this is enforcing a good eating habit. Well better. I still eat too fast and occasionally pay for it, but I am getting better.

Let’s talk booze. I had not really had any booze since I had the surgery in May. A couple weeks ago I went to Vegas to see my folks. When i was there I was sitting down playing poker, and was ordering a drink from time to time. I had full intention of going back to play in a poker tourney on night. As I sat waiting for the time, I was quickly becoming drunk, off of only 2 drinks. I used to be able to drink double that before I even felt a buzz. Guess it is true what the doc says, bandsters become a cheap date. Thank god i was at my hotel and had no where to go.

Last Sunday I went to church and saw this lady who just had the bypass surgery. She had already lost 40lbs and it was only a couple months. I found myself being discouraged because she was losing the weight faster than me… Then I stepped back and took that into perspective. I have been losing weight at ~10lbs a month… HOLY CRAP!! That is awsome. 7 months more at this rate and I am at goal, I am sure the last 30 will be a little tougher as they say. After I had these thoughts I just had to laugh. Why the heck was I getting jealous? I am reminded of my surgeon telling me that RNY will lose faster and that the goal of the band is not faster, but steady. Steady is exactly what I am doing and that is the lap-band goal.

I am amazed how I look compared to my pre-op pic. I am still so used to hiding my weight that today I tucked in my shirt and wore a belt. I have had many people today say how skinny I looked. It is funny how conditioned I have been being fat to hide my body with baggy clothes.  I was told by my boss today… “Dude, you need to go by the gap tonight.” not yet. See my clothing strategy is buy 2 sizes too small and grow into them. I went from being borderline 52, to my first clothing purchase of 46. Took a month or so before I could button. I found some clearance stuff when I was in Vegas, so I have my 42′s waiting on a shelf. I am close. I can button them but still very tight. I will wait another couple weeks. When I am at 270 to 275 they should be good to go.

Well. Lunch is over.

Todd

329/280.5/212

Have had a couple visits with my doc now. The first visit we decided to do the first fill. That was an interesting day. The doc gets a neddle out and stick me. Moves it around a few times. It was a little painful as needles go, then he pulls it out and I am thinking, that was not so bad. He then says ok now your numb, now we can do the fill. I can see why he has to numb the port area. Even with the area numb it was mildly painful, I can only image what it would be like if it was not numb. At any rate he poked and re-poked a few time, each time I could fill the needle against the port. Finally he manages to get it in and did the fill. At that time I was about 20+ lbs down. I did not know what to expect the next day when I tried to eat. Much to my surprise it was not bad at all. I can still eat anything I did before and drink anything I could before. The fill only did what it was supposed to which was allow me to eat a small portion of food and have it sit for 4 hours before I get hungry. The funny thing now is that I can handle even longer that 4 hours if I want to without the serious hunger.

 The last visit he offered another fill at my own decision. I decided to wait. It is working as planned and I just really don’t want to get into the too tight scenarios. That sucks from what every one says including Dr. Simpson. Since the visit a couple weeks ago I have lost another 5 lbs.  Until I stop loosing the 1-2 lbs a week, I am very happy with what I have going now.

 It sure took some time before I began seeing the weight loss on me, everyone else saw it but I did not. Now I definitly see it and the felling is great. I have pretty much lost the pains in my legs and I just feel healtier.

Anyway… Its late. My next appointment is in the middle of August, I will see then if I get another fill or not or if I even need it.

It has been a good 2 weeks… Ok that is a lie. The first week sucked. Man I was so scared sitting and waiting for the knife. When I first arrived at the Hospital I had no fear. All was well. Then as soon as I was admitted and they went for the blood work it hit me and I really got scared. I have never been under the knife. What if I did not make it…. Got done with the blood work. Went into the OR prep room. I was still a little freaked out but still ok. Then the doctors started coming in and talking to me. First the anesthesia, man that did it, I was ready to leave. They have some good drugs though, the nurse came over and gave me something to relax. Within minutes I was calm. Then my doc came in and oh crap that did it I was panicking, another dose of whatever it was… Calm. They wheel me into the OR and have me jump to another table. They say that in a few minutes I will be out and the next thing I see will be a wall which they have me face when I come out of it to reduce the senses on the eyes when coming out of the drugs.

 So I came out of it facing the wall remembering very little of what they said before they put me under and nothing from the surgery thank god. I was really not in a lot of pain from the actual surgery. It was gas they pump into you to blow up the area to allow them to operate. That gas was just constantly sitting and pushing against my body. My back and neck hurt more than the surgery areas.

Went back to the room and within a couple hours I was up walking because it help get rid of the gas. I walked around the Hospital for a few laps at a time and then at 4pm headed home. Got some vicoden filled and went home to begin recovering.

The next day I did not feel much like being on the broth diet, but for the next few days that is what I stuck with. I was so excited to be able to have some milk and creme soups on the third day.

By Thursday, May 10th, just 3 days after the surgery I went back to work for a few hours. It was all I could handle. It was uncomfortable to sit upright, still the gas mainly. There was one incision where I had some muscle cutting that hurt a bit, but still mostly the gas and probably a hint of caffeine withdraw.  

 Day eight I went to Dr. Simpson’s office for check up. Everything looks ok. I had lost 10 pounds the first week. Not surprising considering the diet. He said start soft food but get back to normal as soon as possible, with 4oz at a time of course. So that day, on the way home, I stopped for a hot dog. Managed to eat it with no issues. Since then I have been on a normal diet. I can eat more that 4oz quite easily and so it is hard to limit the intake. I cannot wait for a fill so I am not hungry after a couple hours. Right now I am eating 4Oz about every 2 hours.

It is amazing what is 4 OZ. I just discovered a hot pocket is 4.5 OZ. So that makes it a convenient lunch and second lunch food for just 2$ a box.

Anyway, all is well. People are still asking me how I am doing around church. People are still amazed I am back to normal already, considering they remeber another lady at the church who had Gastric BP took 6 weeks before she was feeling better. That of course is the benefit of the lap band over gastric.

I am buying a new scale so I can weigh myself. Mine stops at 280 or 300. Won’t be able to use it for a while and Dr. Simpson says to weigh weekly.

Speaking of Dr. Simpson, he has been doing some pod casts that are pretty good. Check them out if you want more info. Some are targeted to the band but some are general food facts.

http://drsimpson.net/Podcasts/mp3_1/podcast_1.htm

 Well. It has been 2 hours and I am hungry and still at work. Gotta go get some food. Until the next blog….

This weekend I had my meeting with the nutritionist. They went over our interview sheet asking basic questions about my eating habits. I was honest in my writing saying what I ate. Acknowledging that I am not a healthy eater. I eat junk food and that is why I am one hundred and seventy five pounds over weight. The funniest thing is when I gave her the paper she actually seemed surprised how honest I was. She even said “Wow! You aren’t hiding much.” The thought that went through my mind is I am 175 pounds of fat and I am sitting in a fat clinic, waiting to have a band put around my stomach, what do I honestly have to hide? I am a poor eater. She was a stick figure that anyone of us fatties could have probably eaten in one sitting and she is expecting me to lie?

When I first arrived it was me and 10 women. I was sitting there listening to each of them sound off about how they just want to look skinny, how they wish it was the magic pill, and I am sitting there thinking I just want to be able to walk up my stairs without my knees popping and swishing, I just want to be able to work in my yard for more than 10 minutes without having to stop and take a break to get off my feet. I actually had the thought, “Man, how vein are these people”. Which I find to be ironic because I am sure anyone could say the same for me. I guess I just don’t really care about how I look as much as how bad I feel physically and emotionally. Who do I have to impress? The “looks” aspect has not been my key goal. I want to be out of a wheel chair long enough to run with my kids, god willing,  when they play soccer or baseball. I want to be able to live a life with less pain. If I look better doing it then consider it a bonus.

Some people said the other day you are rushing into this. After talking to others from our church who are looking at having this or have had it they all had to wait 6 months worth of diets and nutritionists. Just about six years ago I was sitting in the Gastric Bypass clinic listening to people talk like those this weekend of the “Gastric Dream”. When they said I was rushing into it I was frustrated, because they had no idea what the last six years have been for me. I understand they did not live in my mind and cannot feel what I felt being at 305lbs six years ago saying “screw that I WILL lose it on my own”. And then they were not there for the one hour per night lap swim then onto the half hour weight lift, the eating of nothing but meat for 6 months as I quickly melted away 80 lbs. When I had reached 235 lbs and my body stopped losing, I can remember like it was yesterday, saying I will never ever allow myself to get that fat again!

I am now at 335lbs. Officially 100 lbs heavier than I was a 4 years ago.

It is hard for some to understand that I don’t see it as rushing into it, I see it as I waited six years. If they lived my life they would have the ability to see how much it sucks to go through life knowing how bad I failed my proclaimation… and how bad it now hurts to have to admit I need help to get it off and keep it off. I cannot stop my addiction and the worse part is, when I swim my sholders begin to fail me and when I run my knees fail me, when I bike my ankles, back, and butt fail me. So where does that leave me? A soon to be cripple. Sure I could wait six months trying to modify my behavior, trying to resist the constant attack of the cookies and crap that are around me at home and at work… sure I can try all of that and then what? In four years be here saying…. Four years ago I weighed 335 now today at 435 I am crippled, having open heart, and having joint replacement and…. NO NO NO!!! Not this time! I am sure there are still battles to be had with on this front… O well, I guess I will need gods grace on this one because I am not backing out… I cannot afford to.

God has the power to take away my surgery and he did not. I asked and still ask. “God, if this is not the right way to handle this then please take it from me.” In return god gave me the insurance acceptance at 100%. I have heard no words saying no, so I am proceeding under the assumption that god has blessed my decision to do this. If he did not all he would have had to do is deny my insurance request. Sitting in that office this weekend, I asked everyone around me if their insurance coved it… No, no. no. no. no. no. Wait a minute, you mean you have united health care, you have a higher BMI than I, you are on high BP meds, you have more co-morbitity than I do and you were denied? Thank you god for gifting me with this.

The Entertainment center

This year I took on the project of building an entertainment center in my house. I have never done any heavy wood working projects before so this was a big test of confidence and determination for me. I was walking through HomeDepot late last year and stumbled across some cabinets that almost matched perfectly the cabinets that the home build offered and so began my task of figuring out 1. if I could come up with a decent design or not using the cabinets that were offered and 2. if I could justify doing it myself versus hiring a pro. The pros were quoting about $3000. Three thousand dollars made me more determined, especially since the project quote I had in my mind from using the homedepot(HD) special was around 1500.

So the task was on. I was going to build this myself if it killed me. So it is great that HD gave me the cabinet option, but what about all that trim work? I went to a couple local wood specialties and everyone pointed me to a local trim store. They quoted me $800 for the trim I needed. I was really thinking 400$ would have been a lot. So suddenly my costs are going up. For 6 8′ board they wanted 800$ to make the fluted trim.

This why I love the internet! I searched, it was hard to find but, Baird Brothers online store for trim ROCKS! After finding them and clicking to find what I wanted I had my trim! $250 SHIPPED!!!

http://www.bairdbrothers.com/

Now I was commited to the task. So one of the hard parts is down now the staining. What a pain it is to match the stains of finished cabinets. I call the cabinet company and of course they don’t sell their stain. They pointed me to Shirwin-Williams stain matching. So I try to have them match my stain. First attempt close but no cigar. Then I had the idea, “well the stain is so close to my kitchen cabinets, why not see if I can get the stan from it.” So I call and find the manufacturer. They send me to North Scottsdale to a center that carries their products. I order the SEVENTY DOLLAR!! stain. Get it home and it is not even close. Back to Sherwin-Williams. After 4 trips and 4 quarts of stain I have a very close match!

So now I have the stain, lumber, and cabinets. Totaling about 1200 dollars for the build including buying a brad nailer and compressor and a few weeks time to build it and piece it together. Finish one piece, mount it, finish the next mount it, on and on until!! Tada!

The Laundry Room

The following project was a prelude to the entertainment center. The builder simply had a flat shelf in the laundry room. I wanted to see how well I could do cabinets before I invested the money on the entertainment center. The shelfs took a day to get them together and mounted. The box says put together first then mount, which may work if you are not trying to go flush with the walls. It ended up after some entertaining juggling with a 100 pound cabinet that one cabinet at a time is the ONLY way to go.  

Well it is official. On May 7th, 2007 I will be banded with the lapband. The nice part is I don’t have to go through the liquid diet before the surgery.

I have to admit I was getting a little scared once the date was set, but I have since had a feeling of complete peace. I am sure the fears will return on May 6th but today I am just anxious to get it done. Mainly because I know how much it will help my pains to lose the weight. I am really starting to feel old and out of shape. Last weekend I tried to swing a pickaxe to pull up some grass. I has 3 swings and then had to stop to breathe.

I went swimming last night for a couple hours and I am so out of shape that today I am hurting all over. I know that weight loss will not fix being out of shape but maybe it will give me the desire and freedom to do something about getting into shape. If nothing else it will make me less fat.

Everyone at our church right now is stuck on some sort of marithon and I get asked by so many people to join. Each time I make some excuse why not. The real excuse is simply I cannot walk after a night of softball and that is running from home to first, ususally. What would a marithon attempt do to me? Naw. I will take my chances with the surgery then maybe we can consider a marithon. The fact is that I have never liked running. If I did would I be in the physical condition I am in? My motto has always been run if chased. Maybe if I strap a piece of steak to my butt and run through the dog park I would have that motivation, but I am not dumb enough to try that either.

This clip was sent from an EU native. It is a commercial for some internet service in EU. Pretty fun in a sick and wrong way.

 Internet dating(pg-13)